3 Self Care Practices That Have Nothing to Do With Face Masks
3 Money-Related Self-Care Things That I Really, Really Don't Want to Do But Am Making Myself Accomplish Before 2020
Here’s a buzzword for ya: Self care.
Self care gets a lot of coverage these days, and I have thoughts. People have various definitions of what that means, and I can guarantee that your pastor, your fitness instructor and InStyle Magazine are not on the same page about it at all.
For me, self care can mean taking the time to set myself up for a financially stable future, or it may mean taking care of my health on a level deeper than a purifying face mask, or — heck — it might be taking the time to do a purifying face mask.
And although some iterations of self care are as soft-sounding and delicious as a bubble bath with a side of prosecco, self care isn’t always pleasant.
When you read these, you might roll your eyes and wonder how I’m even allowed to vote. Because to be honest, they’re pretty basic “adulting” tasks. There’s nothing monumentally hard on this list. There’s nothing I can’t handle. But isn’t it funny how some tasks are built up in our minds as prohibitively hard? Just because something seems easy for one person, there can be real-feeling barriers for another person.
So I guess this is me saying, you’re not unreasonable for not making it out of the house last Saturday; the work week can be draining. I don’t blame you for putting off buying those specific replacement batteries for almost nine months; finding help in a Home Depot can feel like a marathon organized by Satan. I get why you haven’t yet started contributing to your 401(k); it’s intimidating and HR ladies don’t typically enjoy the sunny reputation of Malibu Barbie.
The reality is: Being a human adult is hard.
(I know, I know, “Great SC, thanks a lot; Life sucks, then you die — that’s real Pulitzer-worthy stuff you’re penning here.”)
It’s hard, and it’s sometimes just straight up boring. And that’s OK. Because you’re taking micro-steps toward a better future for yourself — and that’s worthwhile. Sometimes you just have to give yourself a little grace, followed a gentle slap in the face to say "‘Grow up now and handle this.”
I’m big on grace. Also big on discipline.
I’m not gonna lie, the headspace I have to go to when I have to do the brain-numbing, frustrating adult tasks can be anywhere in the realm of “I am blessed to have this first-world problem; some people have REAL problems, and this is not one of them” and ranges to, “At least I’m an adult and I can have ice cream whenever the heck I want”. I tell myself what I have to in order to get it done. Maybe one of those two mantras will work for you, too. ;)
With all that hype built up, I hope my list doesn’t disappoint. I’m afraid it’s atrociously average. Here are the three money-related, “self care” things I’m making myself do before the end of 2019.
#1 Refinance Student Loans
THE WHAT: Refinancing my husband’s student loans is something that we’ve been contemplating for a few months now. Generally speaking, refinancing a loan often means consolidating/swapping loans for a lower interest rate.
THE WHY: Um duh, why wouldn’t you go for the lower interest rate to begin with? Refinancing is typically available once you’ve proven your financial stability — i.e. time has passed since you’ve taken out the loan and you’ve proven to the lender what a good little girl you are for paying in full every month and how stable you are at your job. (Stay tuned for a much, much more detailed blog post on refinancing student loans — will post once we’ve actually done it!)
THE WHY I HAVEN’T YET: Meh. Sounds hard. Sounds like research and computer time and numbers crunching. Sounds like I’d rather go for a beach walk.
THE WHY I MUST: Because I am motivated by money, and that’s all there is to that. Extra savings are on the table, and I am losing money the longer I put this off.
#2 Go to the eye doctor.
THE WHAT: I haven’t been to the eye doctor in about *checks calendar* 10 years, maybe? And nothing is wrong, although I’ve suspected I would benefit from reading glasses for awhile now (it’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s fine.) But a check-up is a good idea, and I’ve put it off long enough. I’m going.
THE WHY: First of all, I’m a grown-up lady and that is plenty of reason in and of itself to stay on top of my health from all corners. But preventative care can have actual, tangible, MONETARY effects. And if the threat of glaucoma won’t scare me into going to regular check-ups, losing money might just do it.
THE WHY I HAVEN’T YET: Just typing those words makes me feel like this:
THE WHY I MUST: As it turns out, regular eye exams are important not only to check in on eye-strain (you know, in case you spend 8-12 hours either staring at a screen, reading, or writing …………………………… yeah) but also because eye doctors may be the first to detect that you have a brain tumor, eye disease, heart problem or some other terrifying underlying condition.
Here’s one I think we are all, collectively as a human race, not nearly worried enough about: The long-term ramifications of looking at a screen for 10 hours a day. I think that — scuse my French — we’re completely screwed.
For someone so worried about the consequences of using a screen for a large majority of my full-time job, I have surprisingly little desire to confront an eye doctor about it. Maybe I should shift my mindset in order to make this boring task more fun.
I’ll view it like an interview. Research. I’m going to go ask the hard questions we’re all wondering: Will we all go blind by 60? Will eye strain be the leading cause of divorce in 30 years? Do the blue blocker glasses that literally 90% of the influencers on my Instagram page really do anything?
#3 Have a Money Meeting with my husband.
THE WHAT: We are due for a money check-in date. We maintain a very open dialogue about money in our household (shocker!), but it’s time for another proper sit-down to look at our spreadsheets and goal lists, versus our standard “Oh, I made $247 this month with Pure Barre, can you pass me the hot sauce, please?”
THE WHY: Because of my husband’s line of work, our income fluctuates month to month. While we usually have an idea of about what the amount will be, it’s never exactly the same. For that reason and a hundred others, it’s smart to dedicate an hour to an hour and a half of our (precious) time together to talk about money — no distractions, no TV, no I’m-trying-to-head-out-can-we-do-this-later-please.
THE WHY I HAVEN’T YET: We have, but it’s been a few months. Quite frankly, this has been a busy season of life, and getting a few hours together when one of us isn’t totally drained from a full day of work is rare enough in itself — and when we do get that time together, we don’t want to make it a chore. I mean, which would you choose: Money Meeting or Finish Season 6 of Downton Abbey and Get to Bed at a Decent Hour.
Not a tough call.
THE WHY WE MUST: Because discipline is a necessary part of being an adult and if we don’t do it, we won’t do it — if that makes sense. Besides, a money meeting can be fun if everyone brings a bright attitude and also wine!
Some major pieces of our life puzzle are shifting in the coming months, plus 2019 is ending soon, so it’s the perfect time to recalibrate and ensure we are both on the same page as a team. BOOM, you didn’t know this was going to double as a marriage advice post, didja?
So there you have it: 3 Money Things That I Really Don't Want to Do But am Making Myself Accomplish, which might also be called 3 Actual Self-Care Exercises I Will Accomplish Soon.
This isn’t an exhaustive list by any means. The list of things I should/need to accomplish in eeeerrrrrrrr genre is pretty scary at this point (Holiday planning! Life planning! Money planning! Baby shower gifts! Work stuff!). But instead of continuing to let the big scary list paralyze me, I am making a list of three things. Once I have accomplished those three things, I’ll move on to the next three. And it’ll be just fine.